1. My husband and I moved to Southwest Florida almost 3 months ago. Our closest family is 2 1/2 hours away and is one of Judd's brothers. Our parents and all of our friends are either in Atlanta, GA or Columbia, SC. We don't have the support here that we had in Columbia, so it makes this time of transition extra difficult.
2. I am TOTALLY stressed out at my job. I left 4.2 years of teaching Resource (students with mild learning, emotional, behavioral, etc. disabilities) to teach 2nd grade general education and I am really struggling with it! People always told me that Special Education is so tough, but I think it was a lot easier than what I'm doing now!!! On top of the placement change, I'm in a school district that performance groups the kids, teaches SRA Reading Mastery full-time to the "lower" classes, and I got the class with the majority of 2nd grade "repeaters". The Principal doesn't allow us to have recess, I don't get to teach SS or SCI, and my class has some of the worst behavior problems in the school! One kid was almost exported back to Haiti last year because he was so bad!!! I do my best everyday, staying until 5:00, 6:00, or even 7:00 at night, but still feel like I'm failing miserably and on top of all of that, I have an assistant Principal who is in charge of observing me and rarely has anything positive to say about me. The school is under so much pressure to get an "A" again this year, and we have so much stacked against us - 97% free and reduced lunch, and majority minority population (mostly Latino). I've broken down crying a few times at school and I don't know how much more I can take!!!
3. We are still not pregnant and have NO idea if or when it will ever happen. We continue to congratulate those around us with their happy news of their 1st, 2nd, and even 3rd babies. We'd love to adopt, but don't know when we'll be ready. I can't even get myself together right now!
4. I am really missing our house back home. I miss our neighbors, being able to leave our door unlocked when we go down the street, and I REALLY miss having a dish washer. Because Judd and I are rarely home these days and are having trouble keeping up with the house on top of our duties at work, we have resorted to using disposable EVERYTHING. I know it's terrible for the environment but it's only for a short period of time, and makes our lives a little easier. I am SO thankful that we have a place to stay, which is RENT FREE through January thanks to an amazing anonymous person from our new church. I'm just missing our home.
5. I came down with the stomach bug, went to school anyway because someone from the district office was coming to demonstrate a math lesson in my room, planned on leaving right after the lesson, but they couldn't find a sub to cover my class. In between running out of the classroom to hit the restroom, I got some work together and split them among the other 2nd grade teachers. I'm still out sick today and they couldn't find anyone to cover my class so my kids are in other rooms again today. Am I the only one that thinks this is totally insane?!?!
6. Judd and I can't go home for Christmas this year. Christmas is on a Saturday and we have Saturday night service at our church. Judd doesn't want to get anyone to cover for him because he's so new at the job. Plus, who wants to cover on Christmas?!?! So, we'll be in this place that I don't really like right now, alone, and thinking (whether or not we want to) about how we are all alone with no children (our 2 are in heaven). I just don't think I'm going to handle this very well at all!
I really, truly, honestly, don't know what to do!!! I feel so badly for Judd. He had a rough time in SC but handled it so well. I had great experiences there and now I am the one that is having such a tough time. I don't know if I can just "put on a happy face". I'm not really that kind-of person. I've always worn my emotions on my sleeves and that's something very difficult to change. I keep waiting for God to swoop in and make everything okay . . .
Hey Katy,
ReplyDeleteRemember that God doesn't give us more than we can handle and that He hasn't already prepared us for. However from recent experiences, I think He allows us to get very, very, very close to our break point. I'm guessing so we turn to Him for help and no one else. Here lately I feel like just wanting to be that 3 or 4 year old in walmart screaming, crying, and pitching a fit when they didn't get their way and not caring who sees me but I hold it together. :) God has a wonderful plan for your life and His timing is perfect. I know that right it may not seem good but God is growing you into the woman you are meant to be and He will work everything for GOOD. (Some things I keep telling myself to get me through and that I am learning...very slowly it seems). Always know that you are in my prayers.
With His Love,
Nina
P.S. I sent you an email back from the other day
I just prayed for you!
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