So what's going on with the Wrights you ask?

Okay, maybe you didn't ask, but this is my blog and I'm allowed to talk about my life here, right? Haha!

Let's see . . . Not much has been going on with me, mostly Judd. He has been working most of his regular hours at Gateway (except for practices moved to Sunday mornings so he can be at camp Wednesday nights), and then driving to lead worship at the Summer Salt Camp at White Oak. They just finished week 3 and have one more to go! Wednesday is his birthday by the way! He will be 28! Wow! He is getting old! How did THAT happen???? (I can't say much - I'll be 28 in August as well :)

We had a big garage sale last Saturday and sold most of our living room furniture. We never really bought furniture when we were married 4 years ago because we were focused on paying off debt (have paid off credit card and my car - yippee!). So we had been thinking about selling our stuff for awhile and since the neighborhood was having a big sale and we didn't have to do any of the hard work of advertising . . . it seemed like a great time! So now our living room looks like this . . .

Instead of this . . .



(Oh course we kept the papazan (sp?) chair! You always need one of those! Papazan chairs are for life! Ha!)

But soon the living room will have these in it (courtesy of Ikea)!




And the Breakfast "nook" will have these in it:



I'll post pictures of the finished product soon!

Oh! And with the money from the garage sale I got these so I can train to hopefully run a 5K in the fall (fingers crossed)! Hopefully training will get my mind off of all of this fertility stuff.





(but in pink and blue, not bright green! Ha!)

Tiny Baby Bennett

Look how tiny he is . . .



and He has improved some!!!! Yeah!!!!

Infertility Etiquette

Please understand my heart in posting these things. I don't want to tell you how you should act or what you should say. I'm not trying to condemn anyone with these words. I'm just trying to "educate" people because I feel like that is something good that I can do in this situation. If you have said some of the things below that it says not to say, PLEASE don't feel badly!!! I know your hearts and I know you just want to support us and I am SO SO SO thankful to you for that! Thank you for your support! Thank you for your prayers! Thank you for your patience! Thank you for being Jesus to us! We love you!

From: www.dancinguponbarrenland.com
For Family, Friends and Ministry Leaders

HOW TO RESPOND:
Recognize infertility exists.
I am sorry that you're having to go through so much.
What can I do for you?
Teach me about what you are going through so I can better understand.
Never give up. Keep believing.
It is okay to cry.

WHAT TO SAY:
Non-selfish comments.
Voice interest in medical treatments.
I'll be praying for you and your husband.
I am here for you.
God can do anything.
Give a scripture.
You'll be a great mom!
I can't wait to meet your baby!
Give a call on Mother's Day.
Remind them of God's promises.
Don't say anything, just listen and encourage.

WHAT NOT TO SAY
When are you going to have children?
Just adopt.
Are you sure you want to try for a child?
Shouldn't you wait until 'this' happens or 'that' happens?
Quit trying so hard.
From a medical specialist, "You will never have a baby."
Give up. Let it go. It will happen.
It is not the end of the world if you don't have kids!
Just relax.
You're too old to have a child.
Just stop thinking about it so much, then it will happen.
It will happen when you are least expecting it.
Just go get drunk.
There is more to life than just being a "mom".
At least you're an aunt. That's fun!
Complain about your own children.
Questioning the ability to be a mother.


Infertility Etiquette: Miscarriage or Stillbirth

HOW TO RESPOND:
Acknowledge the loss. Whether it has happened at five or forty weeks of pregnancy. The loss of life is felt deeply.
Your silent presence can speak volumes.
Show love, "love never fails." I Corinthians 13:8
Note the date when the miscarriage or stillbirth occurred and acknowledge it the next year.
Give a call or send a card on Mothers or Fathers Day.

WHAT NOT TO SAY:
"Don't worry; your baby is up in heaven safe."
"You'll get pregnant again; you'll have other children."
"I thought you'd be over this by now."
"Why are you so sad? You were only a few weeks along."
"I guess it wasn't meant to be."
"All things work together for the good!"


FOR THE ONE GOING THROUGH INFERTILITY:
Forgive often.
Educate others about infertility.
Teach family and friends what to say and how to say it to you.
When on medication or going through procedure, be gentle with yourself.
It is okay to say 'no' to baby showers and children's birthday parties.
Write thank you notes to those who have encouraged you. (I need to work on this one)
Try not to be angry with your spouse, or any one else!
Confront and let go of your hurts, never hold onto them.
Show affection to your spouse; tell them "I love you" daily.
Look past the mouths' of others and into their hearts, most have good intentions at hand.

A Glimpse Into an Infertile Soul

Copied from: www.dancinguponbarrenland.com

"For Friends, Family, Ministry Leaders, Doctors
Ideas for Places of Worship

What can make one fall easily into the cracks of the barren land?
Someone's comments or someone's silence.

Most family, friends and ministry leaders have good intentions, but sometimes they fall short of expressing their love and concern to one who is struggling with infertility or infant loss. Etiquette prescribes a code of social behavior for a particular group. Gaining knowledge on how to respond gives support to your loved one or congregant. It is as if you are taking their hand and walking with them on the barren road.

A Glimpse into an Infertile Soul
"Suffering silently, screaming loudly" - this one phrase could best describe an infertile woman. She walks around appearing outwardly to be "just fine", yet inwardly, emotions are screaming. Below are candid answers from a focus group of women who are fighting, or have fought and won, the battle against infertility. The willingness to share their experience openly and candidly provides invaluable information.

What were your initial feelings when diagnosed with infertility?
"Disappointed. Confused. Why me? Shame. Something is wrong with me as a woman. Denial. Shock. A feeling of numbness. Disbelief."

Emotionally?
"Crushed. Grieving - as grieving a loved one. Weak. Devastated. Saddened. Depressed. Withdrawn. Emotionally spent."

What do you compare infertility to?
"I felt completely isolated. There was no one to talk to. I also felt angry with myself with putting my career ahead of starting a family."

"Someone's worse heartbreak or the break up of ones' life. It's like losing a loved one---however, there is no funeral. No one brings the bereaved flowers. The grieving person must suck it up and move on because there are greater problems in the world..."

"Cancer. You fight cancer with chemo and treatments but you never know if you will beat cancer. I never knew I would beat infertility and I felt like I would die trying."

"For me, it felt like the death of who I thought I was going to be: a mother."
"Like going through the wilderness on the way to the promised land."

"I feel like I am stuck in an unconscious state. I want to experience life but it seems to be just passing me by."

"My life's worst nightmare."

"Losing a loved one"

"Being diagnosed with a terminal disease, yet no one tends to your dying wishes." "

Raw Honesty

I am not doing well right now. Not at all. The amount of crying I did yesterday must have qualified as Biblical proportions. I don't completely understand why. I'm thankful that God understands my thoughts and heart more than I do but I wish He would let me in on them right now. Here are some potential reasons I'm having such a tough time:

1. I feel isolated and alone. I feel like no one around me understands what I am going through (expect for "blog friend" but I don't really know them and don't get true support from them). I don't know how to cope without the support of others. I'm scared to talk to anyone about it because I don't want to rain on anyone's parade or bring them down. I scared that my pain makes people uncomfortable and I don't want to do that to them.

2. I'm scared and confused. How do I know it will all work out? What if it doesn't? What if this pain never goes away? The pain is the worst part - totally unbearable at times. I wish I could cut out the part of my heart that longs for a child and put it on hold until that time comes. If God doesn't provide Judd and I with a child, will He take away this pain and longing? Why hasn't He taken it away yet? Why hasn't He brought us a child yet when I know He is capable to do so?

3. I'm on a fertility medication and started my hormone supplements yesterday.

4. I feel different and left out of everyday, "normal" life.

That's all I can come up with for now. Any insights you have would be MUCH appreciated and prayer is always appreciated!

Oh Lord! Please don't take another one!

I know that's not truth, but I'm struggling with all of this loss. Another blog that I read (http://our-journey-to-parenthood.blogspot.com/) just posted a terrifying post. You may think it's weird that I'm so invested in the lives of people I don't even really know but you have to understand that infertility, although not rare is also not common. I don't have friends in my area (geographically) that are dealing with what I am and oftentimes I feel really lonely and left out. Reading the blogs and connecting with other women is really important to me and blogging has helped me to do that. Please pray for this precious family . . .

Sunday, July 04, 2010
Urgent Prayer Request
Please pray for Bennett. He is now on the highest level ventilator for a possible infection in his lungs. The neonatologist did not look hopeful when she came to talk with us. Bennett is so tiny and his body is so immature... we need a miracle for this little miracle baby


Meet Bennett

Bennett Isaac was born via c-section July 3, 2010 at 10:47 pm at 26 weeks, 5 days gestation, weighing 1 pound 4 ounces and measuring 12 inches long.

As of 3 a.m. when we got to see him, he was stable and doing as well as could be expected at this size and gestational age. We are waiting for an update from the neonatologist now.

Thank you for your continued prayers.

Love,
Adrienne and Jim and family

In Remembrance of Cohen

I am late in posting this but I want to go ahead and do it. You may have noticed a button at the bottom of my blog that says "Praying for Cohen". Well, that button was to support Megan and Brent who after a long battle with infertility became pregnant only to find out that their baby had four Congenital Heart Defects. They fought and fought, praying that God would heal Cohen but on June 18, 2010 his little body couldn't fight anymore and he went home to be with Jesus. You can read more about the Marshall's story here: http://www.inthiswonderfullife.com/. The above banner is to remember and honor Cohen's short life.

Please pray for them. I can't even begin to imagine the pain that they are enduring now.