Do you ever feel that way?
Like everyone seems to go along with the "normal" things of life that seem so easy for them or that happen in "due" time, but for some reason your life doesn't seem to be on track? My heart goes out to all of my single friends out there that are waiting so patiently (or seeking to at least, haha!) for the spouse God has for them, but the time just seems to tick by while everyone else (or what seems to be) goes along with their normal lives.
Don't we teach kids in school that when a man and a woman really love each other, they . . . and make a baby and in 9 months the baby is born? But what if that doesn't seem to be your reality? You begin to think to yourself, "No, no, no, silly, that may be where babies come from for you and the rest of the world, but not me. I don't live in that world. That doesn't happen for me."
That's kind-of how I feel some days. For me, in my world, babies don't live past 8 weeks, and I never have to "be careful" about what time of my cycle it is. At this point it seems like we're just waiting on the stork to drop our baby at our doorstep. Maybe that's what God has planned for us - Adoption. It would be a beautiful thing and I know that God provides. Anybody wanna help us pay for it? Haha!
I know God will provide and that He has not left or forsaken me. (Hebrews 13:5) I know that if He doesn't intend on granting us the desires of our hearts, He'll remove the desire and replace it with a new one. (Psalm 37:4) I know that God's plans are better than I can ever dream or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).
But tonight, I just feel very different. Welcome to Planet Infertility and Pregnancy Loss.
In HIS Hands,
Katy
Park City Utah
4 years ago
Katy,
ReplyDeleteI can say this week I know exactly how you feel. Wednesday, I was a week and a half late (on day 41, unusal for me) and started to get my hopes up. (I knew better but it is so hard not sometimes when you want it so bad). So happened upon a visit to my Gyn office that morning for a pregnancy test (not my intent when I set out for town) and the test was negative. I am begining to HATE that word along with the word WAIT!!! Anyway, I saw the Doctor without an appointment (I guess they could tell I was upset) and the outcome was I have not be ovulating like I am suppose to. So, to fix that I need medication. That's what I was afraid of. However, my naturopathic doctor doesn't agree with that route nor does Daniel. So, I guess we continue to WAIT. He did some blood tests as well(waiting on results). Needless to say I got more than I asked for I ask Wednesday and not in a good way.
This something I never dreamed I would be dealing with when I got married. I always thought..."get married, have babies, that the way it goes... Easy as pie" Boy was I wrong!
There are not many people close to me that I know who are going through infertility right now, so when I talk to family and friends about it they really don't understand the situation, my feelings, or me. It's a lonely place to be. I am glad that there are people out there who do understand!!
So, with all that said you are not alone on that Planet! :) I will be praying for you and Judd. I pray that God will give peace and comfort. Phil 4:6&7 have been on my mind this week.
With Love,
Nina
I do understand. I lived it for over 6 years and didn't have my first child until I was 32. I prayed for God to put the doctors in my path who could help me, and I took Clomid for both of mine. Now they are 21 and 23, but the pain of the infertility still haunts me when I hear others going through it. But, my story brings hope. I know God has a perfect plan for you, too. Follow His guidance, and when He puts people to help you in your path, make sure your eyes are open to seeing them. Praying for you....Karen
ReplyDeletemy dear katie, remember that Gods plan is perfect and i know you know that but there are so many little blessings out there that would love to have awsome amazing parents like you and judd. keep trying don't ever give up but pray about the little blessing that God may have you right now, i pray for you both daily. i love you both dearly. tina
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